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  “How well do you deal with pain?”

  “What?”

  “Not the bang your head on the counter pain or I just lost my best friend pain, but pain that leads to something better. How well can you endure something if you know it leads to something else? Would you accept pain if you trusted the person giving it to you? Could you trust them not to hurt you?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t like pain so I avoid it, like most people,” I struggle to answer because I’m trying to figure where this is coming from, and where it’s going. It went the last place I expected.

  “I want us to have anal sex.”

  “Are you crazy? NO!” I say standing up. “As usual, I’m dealing with the worst crisis in my professional life and you’re thinking with your dick. Typical man!”

  “Hear me out,” Mark rises and takes my hand, pulling me toward the playroom we’ve used before. “Sometimes we have to put ourselves in a position that’s painful, that’s humiliating, or that we fear. But after we go through it, we get what we need in the end. If we can get through that position with someone we trust it makes it easier with someone we don’t.”

  I allow Mark to walk me into the room and sit on the bed. No hairbrush. Thank goodness.

  “Look, Mark,” I say matter-of-factly. “I’m not having anal sex with someone I trust, someone I don’t or anyone else, because I’m not doing that with anyone ever! Never did it, never going to. Case closed.”

  “Why?”

  “Because, no.” I say. “I’ve reached my limit.”

  “Why is it a limit?” Mark presses. “Look Julia, I’m not going to force you. I’m not going to abandon you. But let’s just talk. Why won’t you have anal sex?”

  “Because it hurts.”

  “How do you know it hurts? You just said you never had it.” Mark sits up straight, clearly in rational mode. I’m leaning back against the headboard trying to work up a good answer to an honest question.

  “Everyone knows it hurts. It’s common knowledge. Sun starts in the East, water is wet, anal sex hurts.”

  “But what does it feel like after the hurt?”

  “I…I don’t know,” I confess. “I’ve never really thought past the hurt.”

  “That’s exactly what I’m getting at, Julia. I think I know a way to get you to trust me. But in order to do it, you’re going to have to get past the hurt. You’re going to suffer the pain, but you’re going to have to keep going because the reward is so much better. You need to trust me enough to know I wouldn’t hurt you, even when there’s some present pain. You’ve got to trust me past the hurt.”

  I want to trust him. God knows I do. I consider what he’s saying and it makes a lot of sense. Still, I’m terrified by the prospect of this. I’ve never been this open, this intimate with anyone. Can I really do it with him?

  “And,” he adds. “If you can learn to get through the hurt because of the rewards – I think I know how we can get that folder out of Blake’s office.”

  “Look,” I raise my hands in surrender. “I know he’s an asshole, but I really can’t think about Blake and having anal sex with you at the same time. It’s really too much.”

  Mark laughs and kisses gently.

  “Then let’s leave Blake out of it for now, and work on that trust.”

  I sigh and nod, more to feel his body against mine again, than an urgent desire to test the limits of my trust of Mark. We undress in a slow and luxurious manner, with Mark kissing and caressing me as our clothes come off. He reaches down, rubbing my mound and getting me aroused. His lips pulling at mine and his hands over my body send shivers throughout my entire being.

  I rub his cock and lean down to take it in my mouth, my lips pursing on his head, sucking with purpose and passion, hoping to bring him to such a quick place of pleasure he will forget all about this ‘plan’ for the night. He leans back allowing me to take more and more of him in. I feel him growing inside my wet, warm, welcoming mouth. Then he gently lifts my chin.

  “That was beautiful,” he says sincerely. “Now I want you to let me guide you. I want you to trust me.”

  My body trembles, and I bite my lower lip, have no idea what to expect. I nod my head yes.

  Mark guides me onto my stomach, lifting my hips slightly. He rubs my breasts and kisses the back of my neck, at one point letting his tongue lick all the way down my spine. He massages my buttocks and runs his finger up the sensitive tissue toward my small virgin hole. I jump a bit the first time his finger runs across it.

  He opens the drawer of the nightstand and brings out a bottle of lubricant. I hear the cap snap open but don’t feel any on me. Then I feel his wet finger once again rubbing at my anus.

  “Try to relax. This part isn’t going to hurt.” He coos as his lubricated finger presses against me.

  “Is this a medical exam or sex?” I try to joke, hoping to ease the tension. I feel his finger enter me, and my body gives way. He rubs the inside of my opening with lube and takes a long time allowing me to become used to the sensation.

  “It’s trust, Julia. It’s trust.” He says. He squeezes more lubricant out and soon his finger is joined by a second. My body spasms slightly the stretching needed to fit both in. He continues exploring and moving in me and I understand what he was trying to say. After the discomfort of the unfamiliar presence, my body is responding to feeling of him in me. I begin to move my hips, enjoying the sensation of my body rubbing against his fingers.

  I’m doing this. I’m actually doing this. I’m overwhelmed by the physical sensation and the emotional reality of how vulnerable I truly am at this moment. He withdraws his fingers slowly, dripping some more lube in my hole.

  He leans his body over me, kissing and nuzzling me again. His hands grip my hips as I feel the head of his well lubed shaft press against me. There is just a slight pressure pushing on me.

  “Are you ready?” He asks sweetly. I know in my heart if I asked him to stop, he would. I also know if I did that, I would spend the rest of my life wondering what I just passed by. I nod. “You’re going to feel a stretch, like a cramp, and it will hurt a bit. Just try to relax. The pain passes quickly, but the pleasure’s just beginning.”

  I feel him guiding himself into my small opening. He moves slowly, just inching his head into me. I groan aloud as I experience the first cramp pull through my entire backside. My breath comes out in small huffs and tears fill the corners of my eyes. I’m just about to say stop when there is a sort of “pop” and he’s inside me.

  At this point, my mind takes over where my body has left off. I’m so overwhelmed by the intimacy and reality of this connection. He is taking my body in a way it has never been before, and I am opening to him a part I’ve never even considered. The pain subsides, going from a harsh cramp to a slight pulling as he inches further into me.

  He begins to pump in tiny strokes, edging back and forth inside my body. The pain is gone and I feel amazing. The sensation of the friction between us providing a kind of internal warmth as he continues moving, back and forth, massaging my insides with his cock. I allow my hips to sway with him, enjoying the sensations.

  We are truly one. I am an extension of him, connected and moving together. Making love to one another in a soul encapsulating way. He reaches around finding my already swollen and aching clit and begins to shift it in small circles in rhythm with his thrusts. I bury my head in the pillow and shut my mind off, feeling my body be totally, wonderfully used.

  Soon I am breathing heavily and feeling myself climb again to the height of my pleasure, my clit actually aching from his attention, my bottom feeling him push against my cheeks as he prepares to explode so deep within me. I let myself climb as high as I can then suddenly without any more build up I let go, the rubbery orgasm tearing through me. I feel it inside me, around me, searing at my soul as my body begins its uncontrollable shaking, creating more gripping tension on his cock.

  He lets out a pained, forceful groan that lingers in the air as he explo
des deep inside me. The feeling of his cum in my tight body is unlike anything I have known. My body stretches to allow his withdrawal and he collapses on top of me. I feel the sweat from his forehead against my back.

  I turn to the side, my tight hole now feeling the loss of him and puckering with the desire to have him back, creating a second level of sensation as pleasurable in this moment as it was painful in the first.

  “You did it,” He says kissing me and wrapping his body around me like a protective shield. “You were amazing.”

  “That whole thing was amazing,” I gasp. “I never would have guessed. I never would have known.”

  “I hope it wasn’t too bad,” he responds earnestly.

  “It was perfect,” I reply and snuggle against his chest enjoying silence in the afterglow.

  Eventually, I rise and clean up, get dressed and find myself in front of the elevator. My head so buzzy, and my insides a tad bit sore, I don’t remember to ask him what the plan for Blake’s office might be.

  “You aren’t really firing Lucy, are you?” I ask.

  “After tonight?” He says with a smile. “I think she can have a contract extension. Hopefully after next week, you can come through the front door.”

  I remember my Dad’s nurse, talking about what’s important to know about living and dying. I realize it is time for me to make the best of the life I have.

  “I think I’m falling in love with you, Mark Stone.” I can’t believe those words just came out of my mouth. Like the rest of this evening, they were totally unplanned.

  “I’m already there, Julia Sharp,” He says and kisses me deeply one last time.

  I’m not entirely sure how I got home. My car ended up in my parking space at my apartment but I don’t remember a single street corner or red light. It is as if I simply floated down the avenue toward my place.

  Chapter 6

  Waking up the next morning, I’m still in awe and reliving our experience and the words I said last night. My doorbells rings and I practically fall over the couch running to get it. When I open the door, no one is there but a manila envelope has been taped to it. It wouldn’t be Janice dropping off the screenshots because she would stay. So, it must be something from Mark.

  I sit on the couch opening the envelope carefully thinking it may be note or a poem, or even just the plan for getting the proof out of Blake’s office. I feel the heavy card stock against my fingers and realize it is a series of glossy pictures. Pulling a stack out of the envelope, I flip through them several times before my mind can really register what my eyes are seeing.

  Mark on his couch making love to a woman.

  Mark by a pool with a woman on her knees sucking his cock.

  Mark with a woman bent over his lap. He’s spanking her with a paddle. She’s wearing a collar.

  Mark with a woman, bent over the bar, taking her from behind.

  I over and over I look at these shots of Mark fucking this woman in every way he has also made love to me. Finally, it hits me. I clutch my heart because I feel like I have just been stabbed.

  I recognize the one thing that is worse than seeing the pictures, worse than the fact I just opened my most intimate self to him, and worse than knowing I just revealed my heart to him and told him I love him.

  The woman in the pictures is Valerie James.

  Blaze - The Sandstone Affair Part 4

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